Whoe is me

Things have been BUSSAY this past 2 weeks. I feel I have been pushing myself to do things I would not normally do. I have also had time to reflect on myself which I haven't done in a whole while. I guess you can say I have been finding myself abit.

Keeping busy these days is more of a chore for me. If I don't keep busy I get really bored and feel icky. I do not think I have mentioned this but I have been diagnosed with depression since I was about 13. This disorder I have has pretty much altered and destroyed my life. I use to be at a perfect weight, happy mood, and always busy with myself. Hell I even thought I was sexy! And then my hormones kicked in and everything changed. I lost interest in alot of things,people, and myself which inevitably turned me into a hermit/loner. Thank god at 16 I began to restart my life, with the help of someone at the time. I just feel I have lost alot of years of my life and I am ready to take them back.

I have been playing the dating field. After my breakup I feel refreshed and ready to date more guys. Its kind of unnerving sometimes because I never thought of myself as the kind of guy who enjoys talking to random attractive people. I guess when you get older things change. I AM SO READY FOR COLLEGE! I can't wait to get my ged thing... IF IT EVER ARRIVES! I am so going to USF (university of south florida) in Tampa. I just think being on the opposite side of the peninsula will be a great life changing experience for me. Plus, I will be living in the dorms. I am abit flustered because I will be away from my parents. But I just keep on telling myself I have to spread my wings and start my life instead of keeping it on pause.

Like I said before I am really thrilled about the possibility of going to college. Seeing new people, making new friends sounds awesome to me. And not being attached to anyone is an awesome feeling. Why the hell did I decide on starting a relationship this early, experience I guess. Thats the only reason I can think of. But I think doing the whole college life thing will be good for me.

So... I am going to get off here now because ive got lots to do.

Later!


(I can't believe I found this picture...soo wrong lol. Its called welfare barbie!)

R & R

ok so you guys have probably noticed I have been acting differnt lately. No need for concern I am just fine. I am just having a great time right now just enjoying myself and not worrying. Sometimes in life you've got to relax and let things go ya know? So thats what I am doing. Enough with being the uptight thing and just let things flow.

check out (freak of nature, on my music player) and the song is pretty much self explainatory on how I feel right now.

Bye...

After years of marriage to barbie...

Shall I say...more?

Ok yeah I sound hyper, whatever

let me just put it this way... hyper.....



-Angel

I Can't Be Defeated.

(note: there is a video below that explains how I feel.)

seriously. I am not trying to be corny or anything but today has just been one fucking fantastic day after another. And I say that in the upmost way. Went out and bought myself some shirts because I deserve alittle splurge for saving my money. Im not a label whore but when you are happy that you buy something like a raplh lauren shirt, someone like me who rarely finds sweet deals, its the iceing on the cake to make my day. Ive just had a great day, havent had one in awhile. And there is nothing wrong with grinnin and happyness.

Dumpin the guy I was seeing seems to have made me happier, among other things of course. I would call myself in shock but I am not. Because today is a new day for me and its time I shed out of this fucking shell I put myself in and just L I V E for a chance.

Enjoy your day everyone. I know I am. And remember to never let anyone defeat you in any way possible.


I Cant Be Defeated
Selling stories that were overrated
In this world so complicated
Felt so right, you tried to make it wrong
Why can't we all just get along?

From the start something wasn't right
I used to cry myself to sleep at night
Told myself stand up, be strong
This kind of phase doesn't last for long

And every time you try to knock me down
Gonna pick my back up off the ground
The battle never ends, yeah

You can tear me apart, you can rip me to pieces
Try breaking me down but I'll never be beated
You can say that you won but I'll never believe it
'Cause I can't be defeated

Made a mistake, swore I'll never repeat it
Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating
I smile through the tears so the way that I see it
I can't be defeated

There are times that I couldn't take it
Never felt so violated
At the risk of sounding so cliche
I just gotta call a spade a spade

Hurts me right to the core
I can't take this anymore
Getting tired of the same old song
Final chorus now I'm moving on

Things ain't fair in love and war
Never been the kind to be ignored
Tried to push me to the edge

Yeah, you can tear me apart, you can rip me to pieces
Try breaking me down but I'll never be beated
You can say that you won but I'll never believe it
'Cause I can't be defeated

Made a mistake, swore I'll never repeat it
Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating
I smile through the tears so the way that I see it
I can't be defeated

Nothing is impossible, nothing is unreachable
If you only believe then you get what you need
So keep on holdin' on

You can tear me apart, you can rip me to pieces
Try breaking me down but I'll never be beated
You can say that you won but I'll never believe it
'Cause I can't be defeated

Made a mistake, swore I'll never repeat it
Lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating
I smile through the tears so the way that I see it
I can't be defeated

Booger Time

yep, im sick yet again. WTF! This year has defintely been one of the most sickest times for myself. Seriously, I havent had a cold or flu since I was about 16 and now this year ive had a total number of 3 colds, including the one I have now. It baffles me at how I am getting this colds. Its probably because I am going out alot these days. Which should be a good thing but inevitably it isn't. So I have been having a sore throat since Wednesday. So I haven't been practicing any fellatio, even though I don't need it. So I am still puzzled on how the hell I got this. Ive already coughed up some of the mucus and I am using a couple of drugs like antibiotics, mucinex, cough drops, and nyquil at night for the coughing. Ive also been gargling with salt water 2wice a day. I just hope this shit leaves because I wanna get back to my singing and stop sounding like a butchy lesbian...

Evil infection...

Coming To Terms

Sooo... I broke up with my boyfriend. Ontop of that I deleted the last post because I found it stupid and childish. I guess you can't cry over spilt milk. In anycase I broke up with the guy. Mainly because there was little to no communication. Plus, I felt the relationship was moving to fast. There were other things but whatever. So right now I am still waiting to find out if I got my diploma or not so I can start working on school. Its kind of funny how all of this happened because I honestly think that I am better off. I believe having a boyfriend right now would be cool but I need someone who will support me instead of confusing the shit out of me.

Heres to the boys who make us crazy.

Okay, now im gunna chow down on some RAMEN! YAY! ^_^