My Not So Fabulous Thanksgiving

Yep. My thanksgiving this year was a bust, big time. I'll get into that later once I start by saying happy late thanksgiving for everyone else out there who actually know I exist... so sad I know. Oh well, all good things come in time they say.

So I cooked up a storm this Thanksgiving. I started about 5 in the morning with my dad getting the turkey ready and omg... The turkey came out freakin amazing! YUM! After making and baking, when it was time to eat everything I was not in the mood for eating. Odd. But its not that odd because my dad gets the same way sometimes. So I had a small plate this thanksgiving. I am happy to say that I thoroughly enjoyed myself, for the most part.

Ok so onto the real story behind my not so fabulous Thanksgiving. Without giving out too much details because some of the things that happen I don't entirely tell people because some things just need to say within the family. Suffice to say, he said and did something very childish to me and very below the belt. He has always known how to push my buttons, hes just built to be an asshole. Lord forgive me for trying to cope but sometimes I just need to speak my mind.
Silent prayers keep the demons away.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I have to remind myself to go talk to the people in administration about signing up for this class that I like. No ladies n gentlemen I have not received my degree as of yet. Its a shame, I know it. It pisses me off all the same but I am just trying my hardest. Jeez, ive been studying almost every day for atleast three hours. Lets hope all things pan out well.

Financially things with me are just not good. I have not been able to find a job in literally 4 freakin years. Ive been sick since I was about 12. I feel like im fighting to stay above water but its hard. When you have an illness that turns out to be an all out battle for your life,its going to be a long way to happy. And I am not dead yet.

Thanks you to those people who do visit my blog and show a comment or two. A nice comment is always welcome. I'm just friendly. Alright, you all stay safe and stay warm!

Live Life N Love Strong

Jinkies, its Saturday!

Im just going to get right to it. Yes this is going to be a rant ladies and gentlemen. Its about 3 in the morning here and my insomnia has decided to pay me a visit. Not fun at all.

So I was watching the new earlier today and this one story caught my eye and I decided I would discuss it on my blog. Because, I can bitch and rant on here without taking it out physically. I think of writing as a form of healing for me. It helps and I love with. And there's nothing wrong with loving something.

Like how I really would love to be a singer. You have no idea! Its just hard for me to find anyone to jam with so I can add music onto a myspace site and try to advertise it. I know a thing or to about doing things. I just don't have the resources to do so. Being poor is not really fun.

Ive been having trouble lately with my health. My mood has been very very up and down. Some mornings I will wake up and not want to get out of bed. I'm just having my yearly breakdown I guess lol. But I am getting better so that's awesome. I'm getting back on my feet and talking more to people. Being anti-social can hurt a person's life. I should know.

Anyway. Ive been listening lately to Kelly Clarkson's new album, "All I Ever Wanted." I must say the albums is very awesome. Go out and buy the album ladies n gents because its really good. I did and I am relatively poor lol. I support the girl because I understand her and her music. She definitely has one of the most beautiful voices in the world. Ive loved all of her albums and everything she sings because she is just so much more than amazing

Now I just have to check up on Ms.Underwood. Yes, Carrie Underwood. I heard she came out with a new album. Listened to an album off of it and it sounded really cool. I don't normally listen to country music but she sure tickles my musical interest. What can I say, I love music.

My parents were both very much into music. My dad was in a band when he was younger. My mother was a singer at a college who actually was so good that she was asked to go on the road and do a tour of her singing songs. My mother had a big opportunity to make it to the big times but she passed it down because of my father. She wanted to settle down and have kids, normal life.
I wish they could have both pursued their dreams and still have a family.
But what can you undo whats already done?

Ok so on to the news story. It seems that the mayor of Jacksonville, Mayor Payton, is actually in a power struggle with the city. It seems that he wants to change some sort of city law. Basically, the mayor wants to change a law that would transfer power to the mayor and future mayors once elected. Changing this law, voters voting for who gets to be Commissioner and head of the school board of Duval County will not be able to vote who takes those positions. Because the mayor and future mayors will be the only ones who will have this right.

I think this is utter bullshit. The people of Jacksonville have a right to choose who we want in charge of the police department and head of the duval county school board. All the mayor wants is more power under his belt and I sickens me to see someone I didn't get a chance to vote for.

Most people don't know this but he owns a chain of gas stations in Jacksonville called "Gate". The guy is from money, he is not like the middle class people who have struggled to pay our bills and have food on the table. You have no idea how hard it is to be poor until your there. God challenges us all one way or another. Its the outcome that matters the most. And I refuse to be defeated by this world.


later peeps!

OK I've Got A Dirty Mouth, so what?

Hey everyone and happy birthday to me!

Yep... I am officially 22 today. *giant sigh* Yep... it sucks that it has been 3 years and I am still alone, now jobless (because of my health), and very much out of luck right now. Being poor is really really messed up. I barely scrape by with some surveys I do and a mystery shop here n again. I'm tired of always telling myself to shut up about what I think. Always telling me that I can't speak my mind. Well suck on this.

Please excuse me if I sound pissed off but I am really not. I'm probably the nicest person you will ever meet. Kindness is my nature. But when you piss me off you piss me off. Its just how I see this beautiful messed up world.

Now onto something that really made my skin boil. Check this out.....

So, now for what I think about this.

ARE YOU SERIOUS! Who the fuck hits a priest idiot! One thing you have to know about this guy is that he looks soo OMFG gorgeous. Not my words but my friend ryan. Ok... gorgous is my word. lol. What?!

Anyway, I can't believe this beautiful man has done something not good. Please someone arrest this guy n throw him in jail. Hmm, thats also a problem isn't it. With jail's at their maximum campacity, things are not good. Especially in Hollywood, California where some celebritys who do really bad crimes get away with it because the prisons are at their maximum. Sucks, right? Well thats justice for ya.

Atleast give the guy community service. Id be happy to watch him shirtless while he picks up garbage. ^_^

Trash Day!

Yup yup. Today is trash day. That means ive got to take all the plastics, garbage out all on my own. Yay... -_- My brother and his girlfriend got a place together today. El diablo is moving out. And yes ladies n gentlefolk, that is something to celebrate. Peace n quiet at last.

My cold is almost gone. ^-^! Which means that most likely I won't be sick on my birthday. Thank god! With my brother moved out and myself all alone in this house with my parents it seems like life is going to go back to the way it was. Me and these four walls with my parents. Jinkies... O_O

Well thats it for now. Nothing new to add. OH, if you guys have not checked out the One Love blog I post on you should go check it out. The blog now features the internet hottie of the month. Every month another internet hottie will appear. Chosen by muwah of course. I hope everyones week is going well. Right now I am just going to go into my room and listen to some music. Today I am going to go call my school and see if I can get some classes scheduled. I need to start working on my math skills big time for a test I am about to take.

Not having a paid job doesn't help. 3 years of searching and still nothing.
Ill just have to keep on searching n praying for something. And my health is not being to kind to me these days. I may have to talk to my doctor about getting on some kind of treatment thingie to help with my anxiety. Because the pills I am taking now are just not working.

Ok enough of me rambling. I am going to get the hell off this computer so I can try to wake up tomarrow and hope I feel alot better then I feel right now.

Happy Tuesday everyone

Monday Jitters

my birthday is this thursday... EEK! O_O I am soo not ready for it. Lets hope my lil cold I caught over the weekend goes away before my bday. Cuz that would suck being sick on your birthday. Its so wrong it should be illegal. But today I am feeling alot better so I am crossing my fingers and silently praying that I am getting better. I pray alot ^_^

Oh and I wanted to give a shout out to Ryan and his beautiful partner, Kadin. If anyone reads my blog anymore... please pray that Ryan successfully recovers from his surgery. You guys are in my prayers ^_^

Happy Monday Everyone!